We all fear judgements, well atleast most of us do. There is this voice inside us which tries to be a counsellor and rationalize our fear by analyzing things to make us aware of the fact that our fear is unreal, that we need not be scared because what our head has created doesn’t exist in reality. But how long does the counselling effect stays with us? Also, how often do we listen to this voice?
There are times when our weakest emotion overpower our strong will. Ironic much. It is justified because we cannot be strong every second of our life. Infact one must know what weakness feels like in order to distinguish what strength feels like. Weakness is nothing but feeling helpless. There is this fine line which our mind crosses while analysing the logic behind our fears. And when that happens we actually become the person we are scared of.
For instance, when we are scared of judgements we actually remind ourselves of every possible judgement anyone can pass on us in that particular time period. Now that our mind knows the extent of humiliation that may potentially exist, we believe it to be happening even when we truly don’t know what is going inside other person’s head. We go past the point of analysing to the extent that we convince ourselves with the worst outcome in the best possible way. Another irony. What truly happens is, we judge our own self. We become the judgemental person we are scared of.
It doesn’t take much for the counsellor inside us to perform the ‘out of body’ function of becoming a self-critic which only offers negative criticism. There is no trick about how to stop thinking because the harder you try not to, the more it grows on you. You can read numerous articles and try numerous things but it will only work if you want it to. Not easy as it sounds. Because ofcourse why won’t a person want to feel better? That is what you think. But certainly not your unconscious. Our mind is so desperate to get better, to stop overthinking, that it becomes so foggy with all the things we do to make it calm. We take so many efforts all at once that none of it works out and then we feel bad because the outcome is pretty undesirable. This eventually leads to losing all the hopes to get better.
You don’t have to worry about anything. And certainly not about why you can’t stop worrying. Calm is not an easy act to pull off. But all you got to know is it’s effortless. No one can teach you how to be calm because it’s something only we can achieve on our own. It’s when you are weak that you have the best opportunity to become a calm person because we are the most desperate in our weak times. We are desperate to become strong and that is where our strength lies. And you won’t even realise how naturally you will emerge as a stronger human being when you stop punishing yourself by pushing harder for faster and effective results. You are never powerless because your mind can think what you want it to think. It can be your best critic if you want it to be. It’s all natural. It’s all inside you. Just breathe and be.