The independent living.

We all want to become independent and bold because we all know being independent comes with this immense power that you can control your life. Having control of life is a stability very few have mastered. But are you one of them? Are you truly and religiously an independent person who doesn’t need anyone to survive?

You know, we all face these days when we are so miserable that we desperately want to talk to someone. We want someone to hear us out and let go off our baggage. We quite literally unload our emotional baggage and put it in front of them and let them decide what to do with that trash. We ask them to show us direction, to show us the path where we can get moving because being stuck is quite an awful situation for us. Those are the days when actually your life is testing how independent can you be. Dumping your trash in someone else’s bin is the easiest escape from the stink and filth of your own sorrow. We all have to clean our own filth, we all have to learn from our suffering and not until you do that, you cannot have control of our own life.

Letting go off this urge to take someone’s help to emotionally stabalize yourself is what makes you independent. You cannot become independent just by deciding to become it, you become by actually going through the process and coming out just fine without depending on someone emotionally. It might not happen in one go, it might take more than one blow for you to get the hint but just know that everything that is happening with you which is not good or right is only because it’s trying to tell you something, trying to teach you something. Reccuring trauma is a sign of a life lesson waiting for it to be learned. 

No, your life is not cruel my friend. It’s just trying to teach you something of a value. It’s just trying to make you independent because once you have control of your life, nothing and nobody can shatter you. 

Approaching someone is not a bad thing to do, but being dependent on them for making your life decisions is certainly not the right thing. Just like you everyone else is lost. And how will someone show you which one is the right path for they themselves are lost.

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One tear at a time.

So i have been told

I will suffer until i am bold,

I try to heal my cuts

Forcing caffiene in my guts,

If only i’d knew

My penance was overdue,

Would have never asked for a day

Only with the night i’d stay

Chasing reasons for my pain,

Breaking the endless chain

Of laughter and tears,

And my magnificent fears.

The leap of faith

The one thing that a person wants from you is understanding. Have the level of understanding which is not obvious to your eyes. Some energy that you can feel so passionately that there exists no questions about trust. Be willing and have the courage to see the invisible because it has all the answer you were ever looking for. Make the person feel in a way that they never hesitate to share their darkest secrets with you. 

                You are not here to judge. You are here for the very purpose to acknowledge people of their worth. To make them feel how you want to be felt. Do those virtues to other that you expect others to do to you. People come into your life so that you can convey them the things they can’t convey to themselve. Your existence in somebody else’s life is a role play. Always try to be the special person who everybody loves. Be the solitaire of their life and see how your life becomes a treasure.

               There will be always someone who needs you. Don’t you ever think that you are not worth anybody’s need because people find it hard to express emotions when they cannot fathom those in their words.To see the visible, you need to see the invisible first. That is why you read people and you see beyond the visible to touch the bare truth, to feel every bit of it. Truth is considered brutal because people fail to catch the glimpse of its beauty. Your real strength lies in percieving the invisible. Take the leap of faith..

Cluster of feelings.

When the pain feels like pleasure and you want your heart to ache some more.

When you want to cry your heart out yet you decide to ignore.

When it gets hard to breathe feeling confined in those desperate thoughts.

When all you thought was tying heart to heart knots.

When times were so you felt dreamy and delirious.

When you realised you were only being needy and oblivious.

When you loved so much to give away the hate.

When you closed your eyes feeling tired enough to wait.

When the world was spinning but only one picture stood still.

When he held her hands yet against your will.

When you died a million times inside your mind.

When your soul wanted love, the hopeless kind.

When his happiness gave you a purpose to shine.

When in parellel universe you confessed him, “you are mine.”

You are so much more..

You don’t know what happiness is until you go for what truly gives you happiness. You always go for something based on your temporary feelings, like giving importance to things or people that hurt you. You think that is happiness because you are so much into it. Get out from there and go where there is something more to life. Like stop obsessing over people who literally don’t care. You are so much more than just being a human being running a rat race, having the ordinary life, dealing with lot of shit everyday, when you can choose the exactly opposite. Why do you always have to move towards the painful side of story when the other side is something much more than what it looks like. Why do you cease hunting opportunities or give up so easily when you haven’t even actually known anything to life yet. Have you ever looked at yourself, how much that you struggle everyday to win hearts? This is not your job and you don’t obviously get paid for doing it. Have you ever tried winning your heart first? Have you ever felt what pleasure does it gives to you? If the answer is a no, well then that’s what you should be doing. This is not going to make to stop being any nicer of that you already are but might as well make you confident. When you run after stuff it doesn’t comes running to you, instead it goes far. There’ll be time for each and everything and an answer for your each and every question. And i don’t say you have to wait, you have to keep up with yourself. Because you are so much more than what others think or see. The day you find what more you have in yourself, it’ll give you happiness you always thrived for!
             

Insecurities

Deep down i fear, fear alot about all those moments wherein i fail to prove myself. It doesn’t matter whether you expect from me or not but it always haunts me, the belief that i was never the way you wanted me to be. Maybe i was never meant to be that way, never was i there to impress you but time has changed or rather my feelings for you has. I can see you getting closer to someone else and even if i act normal, inside is that I’m jealous. Changing myself just to make it all right but i know i am failing. Yes, i am insecured because i need the attention i always craved for!

Sky full of stars!

There is a time in life when we all are rejected for some or another reason. Rejection hurts, ignorance hurts. What we all do is try and find fault in ourselves in quest to figure out why we didn’t make it up to being accepted by someone. And its really hard to get over that feeling, and its very natural really. Like all you want was that one star from the sky but now that it went so far that its no more visible, but you know what that wasn’t the only star, right?
                The sky is full of stars, no matter how bad you wanted that ‘one’, you never know the unnoticed stars are more worth your stargazing then the one you always wanted. How can you predetermine that the next opportunity is not worth until you try it? As i said, we all face rejection and its a part of life. All you have to do is move to the next step in life, well it won’t be easy but then not impossible either.
               The most important thing! The fault of not being accepted is not in you, sometimes its just an unfavourable situation wherein you cannot blame anyone, you just have to accept. And acceptance doesn’t mean that you are any less suitable for being accepted, its just letting go all those things that are hurting you. Maybe your ‘star’ never realised when did it disappeared from your sky, but you know if its not going to reappear whats the point of waiting? Accept the new! Life might have replaced that thing for you, go search for it and be excited for the bigger thing then crying over smaller stuff. You know why? Because nothing can stop you, and most importantly because YOU CAN!
             You are not so weak that you can’t handle rejection. Have you ever realised how many things that you rejected just like that, it was easy to do it. Because it is always easy to break hearts but it takes forever to mend it. Don’t wait that long, life is too short to keep fixing your broken heart and its never too late to have a new beginning and hunt for other opportunities!
                  Don’t hate yourself. Accepting the situation won’t make the person any less nice and neither will it make you any less awesome. The ‘one’ star will always be shining bright but this time you will be focusing on the brightest star in the sky, and you know it will keep shining only for YOU! Yes, you are special and you will always be. Because beauty is not just being pretty by looks but by heart.