Always in my heart.

Your presence made this world a better place

But now that you are gone, it’s no more than a disgrace

I’ve been scarred ever since i was eleven

I wish you’d take me with you, all the way to heaven

I did see it coming but i was not so clever

Too late i realised, you weren’t going for now but forever

You are resting like always but i hope this time it’s in peace

Until next time when life gives you another lease.

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My lullaby

It’s at night

When my heart aches the most

Yes, i can feel every inch of the pain

Radiating in my nerves

Touching those remote corners

I’ve lately been aquainted to;

It’s not until the wave hits me

That i become aware of my breathing

It starts off heavy

Getting shallow as the reality sink

When my eyes stink

Letting go off the memories 

Until it finally ceases

Putting me to sleep

And just when i feel so dead

I wake up with the dread

Wondering was it tears or sweat

That made my pillow so awfully wet.

One tear at a time.

So i have been told

I will suffer until i am bold,

I try to heal my cuts

Forcing caffiene in my guts,

If only i’d knew

My penance was overdue,

Would have never asked for a day

Only with the night i’d stay

Chasing reasons for my pain,

Breaking the endless chain

Of laughter and tears,

And my magnificent fears.

Cluster of feelings.

When the pain feels like pleasure and you want your heart to ache some more.

When you want to cry your heart out yet you decide to ignore.

When it gets hard to breathe feeling confined in those desperate thoughts.

When all you thought was tying heart to heart knots.

When times were so you felt dreamy and delirious.

When you realised you were only being needy and oblivious.

When you loved so much to give away the hate.

When you closed your eyes feeling tired enough to wait.

When the world was spinning but only one picture stood still.

When he held her hands yet against your will.

When you died a million times inside your mind.

When your soul wanted love, the hopeless kind.

When his happiness gave you a purpose to shine.

When in parellel universe you confessed him, “you are mine.”