What defines you?

When we encounter people in our life the first thing we are expected to do is introduce ourselves which is said to be the hardest thing to do. Now, it’s not because we don’t know ourselves but it’s because there are so many things we are comprised of that we cannot explain it in a nutshell. We are never in a nutshell, we are always in abundance. It’s like describing the smell of earth. You know its so pure that describing it would contaminate the feeling of it. 

This theory of self-description is what we know in our mind but what happens in public is we get lost. We know that we can never describe ourselves enough but we have to say something. So we end up describing the best of us in few words, few critical words, few words that define us in public, few words that we want the outside world to know about us. But you see, the few words are not what we are. They are a part of the whole. It’s just a preview of a an enigmatic movie which is you!

When people ask me about myself, my first instinct is always to say ,”Hey! My name is Tina and i am an introvert.” It’s because i want people to know that i am not further going to indulge into any kind of event where i entertain them with my special talent assuming introverts don’t entertain, not because they don’t have talent. I let this word ‘introvert’ define me everytime because of my very fear of judgements. It guards me from being vulnerable to this world. But nevertheless, i know that i am not just an introvert. Introvert is what i am to the people. It will never define who i am because i am more than that.

You are obviously not what you describe yourself in front of people because we are always cautious of our public image and our reputation when it comes to giving an introduction. It’s what we are taught. In an interview you are always expected to talk about yourself that flatters the interviewer. I always feel like a clown when it comes to being questioned in an interview of any sort. We have to perfom to impress. Ostentation has quite became the key to sell ourselves in order to sell our product. The point is:

1. Don’t let this public appearance of yours define who you are. 

2. You know who you are and anybody who says otherwise is oblivious. 

3. Don’t be scared for introducing the real you. There is no need to be ashamed.

4. First impressions never last. It’s perfectly fine to have a failed one.

5. You are not here to impress. Don’t confuse between impressing and expressing. It’s the latter you focus on.

6. What defines us is very subtle. Because we keep on learning and upgrading ourselves that everyday we change and we keep getting better. 

7. There is an inner strength in each one of us whether you are aware of it or not which helps us decide the flight or fight response.

Now you know that we are not our first impressions or what we introduce ourselves like because few words, few minutes and few people never define us.
                     

Take a pause.

There are so many times when we feel completely helpless, like we want to act on the situation but there is something which is holding us back. Might as well that something is your belief that whatever you are going to do is of no use, you have lost the control over the situation. Everytime we think of an action we always think about it’s consequence and every action has a different outcome but when i talk about being helpless, the one thing that comes to my mind is the consequence is ultimate. That is what helpless feels like, no matter how many different actions you take, the outcome is going to be the same. So when you know that nothing good comes from your efforts you just sit back and take time to absorb the reality. As hard it is for you to take in the information and living with your helplessness, for as long as it continues, it is equally hard for people around you to accept the truth. 

                      People often mistake ‘being practical’ as ‘being pessimistic’. When i am in such situation where i know it’s not happening the way it should be, i choose to take a pause to realise that i need a different approach to deal with this. So, everybody needs there own ‘good time’ to realise how to deal with a situation. The good time always vary and it’s relative as to how comfortable you are with your approach. Meanwhile, people around you are going to tell you that it’s a negative approach because to the world it may seem like you are giving up. The world we live in has a habit to see things constantly moving, when there is a pause they think something is wrong. The thing is, do not waste your time in explaining the world about the steps you are going to take, instead work on the execution of your masterplan. There is always a master plan and you are the master. 

                      We are so used to going through other people to convince our own self that whenever we as an individual think of something, we always need an affirmation from someone we are close to. Just to make sure we are doing it right and incase we fall there is always someone to have our back. The problem is we don’t trust ourselves enough to execute something without a heads up from someone else. As much as you are unaware of your future, everybody else is too. 

                      If what you want is going in a wrong way or is not going in any way at all, just take a pause to realise, to update yourself with the facts of the situation. Your potential is always constant, you just need a different approach. If one approach doesn’t work then there are infinite such approaches. Taking time doesn’t mean giving up. A pause can always be played. Don’t feel competitive that people around you are moving forward and on the contrary you are stuck. Comparison is always going to make you feel sick because you are too modest to accept your greatness. The people around you are exploring their path and you are exploring yours and since the two paths are different, the time to reach your destination is obviously going to differ. There is no need to justify someone as long as you know what you are doing. Have faith in yourself. Don’t let anything else consume your will power to become what you want. No consequence is ultimate as long as future is unpredictable.

                     

Puzzled

We all think that our world is a jigsaw puzzle and each of us is a piece of the same. We try to find our match, we try our best to fit in perfectly for the jigsaw to complete and yes it looks beautiful. But then how accurate are we? How accurate is this comparison of world with a jigsaw puzzle? 

                    When i was a kid, i was desperate to be the person i see in others. To like what they like, to be able to comprehend things the way they do, to portray myself the way others carry themselves and to put up what the world has to offer. Like living a double life, when in the crowd i used to pretend to be like them, i would react the way they expected me to, laugh on the jokes i never found funny, talking about other person’s life even though i was not interested to,pretending to hate someone i was not intended to and lot such things. I was afraid i was not doing it right because all these things were supposed to bring me pleasure just like they did to others but matter-o-factly it made me unhappy. When i used to sleep at night i would feel sorry for talking something i would never mean, i was obviously lying. And whoever said this was right – “You can lie to everybody but yourself”. I was afraid that i was different. I had alot to realise back then, i had to hear this “It’s okay to be different” and not just hear but absorb it in my heart. But there was nobody to say it and i was not aware that, to free myself i will have to accept who i am. Constantly making an effort to fit in because i was not ready to discover who i really was beneath this mask of lies. But i knew one thing that the mask wasn’t a sign of deception but instead it was a protection from the world. 

The world is armed, not with real weapons but words, and they had the potential to destroy my very divergence.

                   So, in life, you may not meet such a person who will come and tell you that it’s okay to be yourself, that you shouldn’t be afraid to be real. The thing is you will have to realise it yourself. And even though it may take time for you to discover who you are and know where you’re happiness really lies in, that’s perfectly fine because great things takes time to realise. The moment you realise you are worth the way you are just start living it up life the way you want to and don’t wait for anybody’s affirmation. People don’t have to accept you, you have to accept yourself. 

The one similarity we all have is our uniqueness.

 The world will always be vulnerable but don’t fall prey. I am sure you have immense strength in yourself. If i can believe in you then so can you, believe in yourself. 

Mirage

Every day reveals something to you, like opening a little secret box everyday and taking step towards the clear picture of life. You meet people and you become a part of their lives, but how many do actually see through that life of other person? Have you ever realised how wrong can you be about someone. To what extent have you misjudged a person. 

                   We always compare our lives with others and find ourselve in this pool of disgrace, wet with our own expectation about life. Everybody’s life seems happening to us. It seems happening to our end because its a mirage, a mirage of our own perception regarding the other person. We keep building blocks of dreams until we realise we were only sleeping the whole time and now that we finally have to wake up. Our perception distorts the reality we live in. 

                You need to stop. You need to stop when you know you are building those dreamy expectations which cannot collide with your reality. Let your vibes be welcoming to the uncertainty of your life. Stay happy and positive.

Kick those blocks of expectations

The leap of faith

The one thing that a person wants from you is understanding. Have the level of understanding which is not obvious to your eyes. Some energy that you can feel so passionately that there exists no questions about trust. Be willing and have the courage to see the invisible because it has all the answer you were ever looking for. Make the person feel in a way that they never hesitate to share their darkest secrets with you. 

                You are not here to judge. You are here for the very purpose to acknowledge people of their worth. To make them feel how you want to be felt. Do those virtues to other that you expect others to do to you. People come into your life so that you can convey them the things they can’t convey to themselve. Your existence in somebody else’s life is a role play. Always try to be the special person who everybody loves. Be the solitaire of their life and see how your life becomes a treasure.

               There will be always someone who needs you. Don’t you ever think that you are not worth anybody’s need because people find it hard to express emotions when they cannot fathom those in their words.To see the visible, you need to see the invisible first. That is why you read people and you see beyond the visible to touch the bare truth, to feel every bit of it. Truth is considered brutal because people fail to catch the glimpse of its beauty. Your real strength lies in percieving the invisible. Take the leap of faith..

Inside out.

We happen to know alot of people in our life, in various forms. Let them be our friends or family or just aquaintance or whatever we name it. People play a very unexpected, sometimes happening sometimes not, role in your life. In our living we try to know them inside out, we try to make out their personalities of what they show to us. But not everytime what they show to us is what they actually are, and certainly its not negative to show something and be something in some cases. But what forms pure evil is when you use this as a weapon. Using emotions against someone is just so devious, yet some people don’t mind being one. 

                 Maybe everybody is afraid to show their real self out to the world, feeling too vulnerable. People tend to fake it even if they hate being fake because even if we hate things we still have the potential to do it. Trust is what holds us from giving it away, whatever we have. Stronger minds have fragile hearts. The sinking feeling in your heart when the trust is broken is like a glass being shattered, loud enough to make you numb and sharp enough to hurt. You know why it is hard to trust again? Because nobody likes to commit a mistake twice, that’s what we were taught.

                Humans are a mystery. Only the individual knows what he is inside out, what is to be shown and what is to be kept hidden. If you have to reveal what’s in the mystery you will have to use trust as a key, and perhaps the person will let you in his head. But what happens when you get there? What happens when what’s outside contradicts what’s inside? The key disappears. The trust ceases to exist. 

                  What is to be deduced is that however close you might be to anybody there still exist the possiblity of you not knowing them inside out. But rather than questioning why the person didn’t show it enough, you should ask whether you have enough strength to see what he has to show. Because if you don’t then the mysteries will always be alive.

Don’t fear the fear.

We keep searching for the one thing that gives us hope of optimism. But sometimes, we run out of that hope, the kind of positivity we look for. That is the time when our facts are replaced by fears. We start to fear because we don’t find a reason not to. You know what, Fear sells. It traumatizes you and makes you feel guilty even without commiting a mistake. Its tears you apart and suddenly you feel that the world is  falling. Devastating hallucination seems to be coming true. But the real truth is that its all in your head.  Your mind destroys your inner peace.

                   So, here is a piece of advice, Destroy what destroys you. Yes, destroy your worst fears. The only thing that can bring you down is your fear for that thing and not the thing in particular. Fear doesn’t shuts you down, it wakes you up. If you know how to control your fear and use it as your strength, you will definitely become a stronger person and there will be no guilt. There will be peace and an incredible willpower. We all need that, don’t we?

              Just like being blindfolded and asked to shoot someone on his head not necessarily concludes that you will have an headshot , there are more chances of it to be vague and out of order. Same way, you are vague thinker and your thoughts can be too out of facts to be true. You are just being blindfolded by fear. Fear is just a concept and not reality. Once you face it you will get to see the real picture. You control your fears instead of letting it control you.