Sometimes the selfish is real.

There are times when people fail to understand you. They prefer to go with the obvious side of the story. The part which lifts heavy with emotions and which makes you seem emotionless and devious somehow. I don’t know how many people actually see through the situation and react or they just react for the sake of it but you remind yourself not to let people’s opinions about you turn into facts. You deal them casual, as ordinary like it doesn’t affect you. You are the only person at that point who knows the reasons for your decision and your acts and you are not answerable to anyone who is not in a position to understand your state. You are a strong mind, you are an individual person. Just like other’s opinions impact the situation so does yours. If you as an individual come out as independent, then there won’t be any sabotage on your part. 

                   Sometimes we don’t look good, we don’t come off as a good person with a big heart who forgives people and always smiles. Here’s a thing, We don’t have to look good in front of people everytime. Sometimes, we have to be ourselves and even if the world judge you at that time or call you mean, you have to stand by your side. Being ourself is not associated with being a bad person. You have to show what you feel about somebody even if it hurts that person because sometimes saying the truth becomes necessary. You are not here to win hearts at the expense of your ownself. Its okay to be a little selfish and think about yourself because you are definetely not the only person who is thinking about self. It becomes a necessity when nobody else does think about you but only you do.

Don’t fear the fear.

We keep searching for the one thing that gives us hope of optimism. But sometimes, we run out of that hope, the kind of positivity we look for. That is the time when our facts are replaced by fears. We start to fear because we don’t find a reason not to. You know what, Fear sells. It traumatizes you and makes you feel guilty even without commiting a mistake. Its tears you apart and suddenly you feel that the world is  falling. Devastating hallucination seems to be coming true. But the real truth is that its all in your head.  Your mind destroys your inner peace.

                   So, here is a piece of advice, Destroy what destroys you. Yes, destroy your worst fears. The only thing that can bring you down is your fear for that thing and not the thing in particular. Fear doesn’t shuts you down, it wakes you up. If you know how to control your fear and use it as your strength, you will definitely become a stronger person and there will be no guilt. There will be peace and an incredible willpower. We all need that, don’t we?

              Just like being blindfolded and asked to shoot someone on his head not necessarily concludes that you will have an headshot , there are more chances of it to be vague and out of order. Same way, you are vague thinker and your thoughts can be too out of facts to be true. You are just being blindfolded by fear. Fear is just a concept and not reality. Once you face it you will get to see the real picture. You control your fears instead of letting it control you. 

Understanding the untold.

In life, you cannot keep up with every promise you made, every word you gave to the person which gave him hopes that you will show up on your promises, you will fulfill them. Does that mean you should stop making promises? Certainly not. 

What we have learn always is, if a person fails to do what he said he will, it means he has changed. And everytime the change has to be adverse and something to do with betrayal. Being on that part of story where you can easily blame or categorize someone is very much simpler because you are not answerable. But being on that part where you have been tagged as ‘changed’ is harder because you know you have not changed and you constantly have to make efforts to prove them wrong but there are more chances of not being convincing to them because people tend to be adamant of refusing their change of mind.

The point is, we are not supposed to please everyone in our life. If people are mature enough and they love you and that love reciprocates, there is never a need of explanation. Explanation of why you didn’t show up. We are humans and we are very bad at empathising someone. We always die for explanation, infact we wait for the other person to be answerable so that we pounce on them for answers.

Not everytime a person who fails to keep his word suggests that he is ignoring you or making excuses. Sometimes its genuine. We all need to be generous enough to understand that priority changes as time changes. Thats perfectly fine because people keep coming into our life and there is always a possibility to be more closer to the new things. There might be a chance that you failed to understand the person. That the new person understood the said person in the way he was supposed to. 

Its not important for being the priority, it is important to have that person in your life. You need not constantly meet to examine how good your relationship still is. You just have to believe in each other. That is how it works.

Do regrets have answers?

We don’t deserve the hostility we get. What is it about? Why is it that all what people show us is enmity? What have we done? We don’t really have answers, do we? If we’ve had answer we would never ask the question. 

           Not everybody has it what you have, the capacity for dealing with being oppressed. Feeling weak, so weak that the powerlessness overrides the digust and the anger left inside. Its not just the person who gets opressed but also the feelings. The feeling crashes down in pieces. But now when those pieces connects its a whole different picture which you can see. You don’t see the pieces into the same form, you don’t see the feelings having the same feel. 

             All the world can say, will always be to fight back. But what you know, nobody knows, nobody understands, nobody feels. You know its not foreign feeling of being oppressed for which you didn’t stood up for yourself. You know its history recreating itself. Bringing back those days you never wish to see. You never wished to be judged again. Yes you didn’t fight back but you had a reason. You didn’t stood up because even this time you thought you would never repeat your mistakes again. Even if standing for yourself was a mistake by then it might not be now. All you can feel is dilemma.

A dilemma transforming into a regret…

You tell yourself one thing, someone’s oppression is never your regret. You can stand up. You can do it what you didn’t. You don’t know your potential until you test. Let the world judge, let it make you feel regret. But never put the regret into a question mark. Never ask if you regret. Because regrets don’t have answers, they have more questions. And those questions don’t have answers either..

The evolution

All those times in our life when we want others to know how marvellous is our living, how cool is our life. We just want to scream and tell that our life is also a story to be heard, that we see through our imperfections and we accept who we are, what we are, that we have created memories worth a lifetime. And everything after that makes sense. Our life makes sense.But does it really? The inside story says a different moral though.

                    You try to make sense out of your life somehow to be convincing enough to the people. To let them know that you are not boring and so isn’t your life. We say we accept imperfection but we don’t really. We try to make it perfect. We try to fit in. Yes, somebody’s life must be appealing to you but that necessarily doesn’t mean that so should yours. Boring is good, its satisfying, peaceful. 

           You want thrill in your life but when life gives you problems you back down. Aren’t problems thrills too? You pass through a phase and you come out being stronger than you were before. Why is that we connect problems to suffering? Why can’t we just put it in a way that with problems we are going to the next level of our life. We love moving to the next level in our virtual life by playing simulation, why not the real one then? 

                  Nobody really cares about if you’ve had enough fun and memories in your life. Only you do. Those memories means something only if it reflects your feelings in them. Or else its not worth it. You cannot live a fake life with fake fun and fake feelings. You can fake it to others but not to yourself.

     The best part about being human is to evolve into something greater. You are here to seek a great perhaps. Maybe its the time to evolve,now, into a greater something. Giving away all the fakeness that we had and accepting ourselves, our life, in its true sense.

Control

Everybody’s life seems so perfect to us. Like there is no disturbance but peace. They seem happy, they feel happy. You can feel their positive vibes. But when you look at yourself as an outsider you don’t feel the same. There is something depressing about your vibes. There is something wrong with you, anybody could make out that. 

               There is not much difference in you and the other person. Its just that they fake it better than you while you are just making it obvious enough to show your pain. When you show your pain, there is nothing left in you. You are sort of exposed. Because somehow our life revolves around our pains. We suffer but we evolve through it. This process is what defines us and if you let everybody see through your pain, you are letting them to hurt you. Their opinions will start to matter you because everything you’ve ever had is known to them. Its not about keeping secrets but about how well you can take control of your feelings and not letting them ruin your happiness.

           Nobody escapes from suffering. So then why we feel someone’s life is more happening than us? Because what we call problems are not really problems to them. They look at the bigger picture. They have patience, they have control. When we learn to control how not to feel too much of our pain is when our mind and heart meet. We need to be logical and not emotional everytime. Emotion is a trap nobody can escape, very hard to detangle those threads of relations when you so much into figuring out if your feelings will ever reciprocate.

We need to learn how to survive and not why to survive.