We become the kind of person we read novels about and watch movies/series of. The way we see things is quite an outcome of how we comprehend our fictional lives. Being this person who lives a life more in fiction than reality, i always felt the way i comprehend things is very different than how people do. When you read lot of novels you kind of become this narrator which describes things in the way that the listener will also feel what you felt like when you were in the moment. Making the reader a spectator of your story is how you sell a great story.
Aren’t we all the narrators of our own life? Then why is that we all view our life with the mediocre vision of boredom instead of an extraordinary exciting touch of our own fiction. It makes a lot of difference how we see things. Our life is our fiction but we don’t really narrate the way we should be. What happens in a good book or a good movie is what happens with us too. But it’s very unfortunate as to how we look at it. We are too busy focusing on what we should do more to achieve more and how to get better and better. It’s endless, you know, getting better is an endless journey. You can never convince yourself that you have finally became the person you always wanted to be. Because what ‘better’ means to us is always a step ahead from where is stand. We keep crying our entire life for the chances we missed, for never having enough. The thing is, we can never have enough of anything. Till the time infinity exist, we can never feel finite. We always want a little more and the little keeps getting bigger until it becomes a pile of huge trash. The trash of our lack of appreciation towards life. The trash which often becomes the reason for demotivation.
There is a difference, the difference between how we see things and how the same things are narrated in a novel/movie.
How we see: A pen falls from my hand and the handsome guy sitting next to me picks it up.
How the novel says it: I keep fidgeting with the pen and suddenly it slips from my hand, ends up on the ground. For fraction of moment i feel irritated until i see the handsome guy sitting next to me picking up the pen for me. I wonder what a gentleman he is! He hands over the pen to me and i smile sheepishly at him. Gratitude.
You see the difference? The difference of a little fictional vision. It is very must to have it, to feel a little more and better than our monotonous way of looking at things. I won’t suggest to feel the same way for every guy who picks up a pen for you, he might not be a gentleman but gratitude is always key to good relationships.
Things might not get better but your eyesight can definitely make a lot of difference. Comprehend things the way an author would do and your life will become the one you read about. Become the narrator who sells a good story, you are the protagonist, always.
I am quite a hardcore believer of the fact that A private life is a happy life. Not that i don’t want to share things with people around me but i think there are certain pre-conditions of opening up to someone. The first question that always comes to my mind is How do i trust this person?
We all have faced such situation when we share something to someone and instantly regret. So when it comes to sharing the deepest secrets or stories of your past, the concern is the trust you invest in someone, that the person will remain faithful to you and will not use your secrets as a weapon against you to make you feel how miserable your life is. You already know how your life is, you just need a person to reassure you that things will get better, to make you realise your strength instead on fixating on your weaknesses.
The panic trigger of spilling our beans is about our weakness. We are too afraid to expose our weak side to anybody. Therefore we always choose such a person who cares enough about us and the fact that the person gives a damn about how we feel. I don’t know how people started to behave with this ‘not giving a damn’ attitude to almost every situation in their life. We need to realise that certain things are crucial in our life and they need our attention. You cannot escape your responsibilties by saying that you don’t care. It is really hard to find someone who is mature enough to deal with what you have to say. Immaturity has become quite the trend.
Nevertheless, even if you open up to someone and you still feel insecured about it, just remember that you are still the person who gets to dictate the terms of life. The person who knows your story doesn’t become the protagonist of it. The person is still a spectator and you can always manipulate the script and take charge of your life. We all make mistakes and sometimes our mistake is choosing the wrong person to talk about our mistakes. Some people are going to make you feel worse about what you did and on the contrary some are going to cheer you up. But then the most powerful card you can play is self-realisation.
If you are not the person who likes to share things with others and who believes into having a private life, find a way you can release your emotions into. You don’t have to wait for the right person to come along for things in your life to get better. You can start with doing what you like. We all are passionate about somethings or other. Human beings are quite the talented species i believe. You can write you emotions, you can play them, you can sing them, you can kick them and also you can cry them. And if one day you feel that it is very necessary to talk and let out your anger, sorrow and regret, i am sure there is someone in your life that you trust with your insecurities. That person will never judge you. All you gotta do is give a shot. If things go wrong then we are back again at becoming humans and commiting mistakes!
There are so many times when we feel completely helpless, like we want to act on the situation but there is something which is holding us back. Might as well that something is your belief that whatever you are going to do is of no use, you have lost the control over the situation. Everytime we think of an action we always think about it’s consequence and every action has a different outcome but when i talk about being helpless, the one thing that comes to my mind is the consequence is ultimate. That is what helpless feels like, no matter how many different actions you take, the outcome is going to be the same. So when you know that nothing good comes from your efforts you just sit back and take time to absorb the reality. As hard it is for you to take in the information and living with your helplessness, for as long as it continues, it is equally hard for people around you to accept the truth.
People often mistake ‘being practical’ as ‘being pessimistic’. When i am in such situation where i know it’s not happening the way it should be, i choose to take a pause to realise that i need a different approach to deal with this. So, everybody needs there own ‘good time’ to realise how to deal with a situation. The good time always vary and it’s relative as to how comfortable you are with your approach. Meanwhile, people around you are going to tell you that it’s a negative approach because to the world it may seem like you are giving up. The world we live in has a habit to see things constantly moving, when there is a pause they think something is wrong. The thing is, do not waste your time in explaining the world about the steps you are going to take, instead work on the execution of your masterplan. There is always a master plan and you are the master.
We are so used to going through other people to convince our own self that whenever we as an individual think of something, we always need an affirmation from someone we are close to. Just to make sure we are doing it right and incase we fall there is always someone to have our back. The problem is we don’t trust ourselves enough to execute something without a heads up from someone else. As much as you are unaware of your future, everybody else is too.
If what you want is going in a wrong way or is not going in any way at all, just take a pause to realise, to update yourself with the facts of the situation. Your potential is always constant, you just need a different approach. If one approach doesn’t work then there are infinite such approaches. Taking time doesn’t mean giving up. A pause can always be played. Don’t feel competitive that people around you are moving forward and on the contrary you are stuck. Comparison is always going to make you feel sick because you are too modest to accept your greatness. The people around you are exploring their path and you are exploring yours and since the two paths are different, the time to reach your destination is obviously going to differ. There is no need to justify someone as long as you know what you are doing. Have faith in yourself. Don’t let anything else consume your will power to become what you want. No consequence is ultimate as long as future is unpredictable.
We all think that our world is a jigsaw puzzle and each of us is a piece of the same. We try to find our match, we try our best to fit in perfectly for the jigsaw to complete and yes it looks beautiful. But then how accurate are we? How accurate is this comparison of world with a jigsaw puzzle?
When i was a kid, i was desperate to be the person i see in others. To like what they like, to be able to comprehend things the way they do, to portray myself the way others carry themselves and to put up what the world has to offer. Like living a double life, when in the crowd i used to pretend to be like them, i would react the way they expected me to, laugh on the jokes i never found funny, talking about other person’s life even though i was not interested to,pretending to hate someone i was not intended to and lot such things. I was afraid i was not doing it right because all these things were supposed to bring me pleasure just like they did to others but matter-o-factly it made me unhappy. When i used to sleep at night i would feel sorry for talking something i would never mean, i was obviously lying. And whoever said this was right – “You can lie to everybody but yourself”. I was afraid that i was different. I had alot to realise back then, i had to hear this “It’s okay to be different” and not just hear but absorb it in my heart. But there was nobody to say it and i was not aware that, to free myself i will have to accept who i am. Constantly making an effort to fit in because i was not ready to discover who i really was beneath this mask of lies. But i knew one thing that the mask wasn’t a sign of deception but instead it was a protection from the world.
The world is armed, not with real weapons but words, and they had the potential to destroy my very divergence.
So, in life, you may not meet such a person who will come and tell you that it’s okay to be yourself, that you shouldn’t be afraid to be real. The thing is you will have to realise it yourself. And even though it may take time for you to discover who you are and know where you’re happiness really lies in, that’s perfectly fine because great things takes time to realise. The moment you realise you are worth the way you are just start living it up life the way you want to and don’t wait for anybody’s affirmation. People don’t have to accept you, you have to accept yourself.
The one similarity we all have is our uniqueness.
The world will always be vulnerable but don’t fall prey. I am sure you have immense strength in yourself. If i can believe in you then so can you, believe in yourself.
Sometimes in life you cannot take it, what life has offered to you. You want to escape for once and for all. The mental escape into a peaceful landscape. You want to free yourself from all the ties that hold you back and makes it harder for you to breathe the tranquil air. They said freedom is a state of mind. But they never said to what extent our mind will be in the state of power to feel the freedom which is not obvious to the eyes.
How unknowingly that you started fighting this war we call life. And fiercely that you realised it was more important to survive and keep fighting to make it to the end. But is it really the end that you keep struggling all the way? Is it that hope you keep up for an happy ending? I just want you to know that whatever you have struggled for is not just to end the suffering but to escape into a new beginning. Its not just the end that we live for, we live to begin and emerge into even more stronger. Things also end when you quit. So what differs your survival from quitting? The courage to move into another dimension of life.
Your efforts are not just meant for the war to end but what is after the war that matters the most. You kept fighting for the peace, for entering into a complete new world where you leave your past behind. We never really get away with things, we just land into another. Our escape from one situation is like accepting the invitation for another one.
This battle is not to just to win over hard days but to get your life back. And those scars, those scars will fade too. You will get the justice. But don’t wait for it, instead work for it.
Don’t accept the hostility that the world offers you, instead create your own world.
Every day reveals something to you, like opening a little secret box everyday and taking step towards the clear picture of life. You meet people and you become a part of their lives, but how many do actually see through that life of other person? Have you ever realised how wrong can you be about someone. To what extent have you misjudged a person.
We always compare our lives with others and find ourselve in this pool of disgrace, wet with our own expectation about life. Everybody’s life seems happening to us. It seems happening to our end because its a mirage, a mirage of our own perception regarding the other person.We keep building blocks of dreams until we realise we were only sleeping the whole time and now that we finally have to wake up. Our perception distorts the reality we live in.
You need to stop. You need to stop when you know you are building those dreamy expectations which cannot collide with your reality. Let your vibes be welcoming to the uncertainty of your life. Stay happy and positive.