We all fear judgements, well atleast most of us do. There is this voice inside us which tries to be a counsellor and rationalize our fear by analyzing things to make us aware of the fact that our fear is unreal, that we need not be scared because what our head has created doesn’t exist in reality. But how long does the counselling effect stays with us? Also, how often do we listen to this voice?
There are times when our weakest emotion overpower our strong will. Ironic much. It is justified because we cannot be strong every second of our life. Infact one must know what weakness feels like in order to distinguish what strength feels like. Weakness is nothing but feeling helpless. There is this fine line which our mind crosses while analysing the logic behind our fears. And when that happens we actually become the person we are scared of.
For instance, when we are scared of judgements we actually remind ourselves of every possible judgement anyone can pass on us in that particular time period. Now that our mind knows the extent of humiliation that may potentially exist, we believe it to be happening even when we truly don’t know what is going inside other person’s head. We go past the point of analysing to the extent that we convince ourselves with the worst outcome in the best possible way. Another irony. What truly happens is, we judge our own self. We become the judgemental person we are scared of.
It doesn’t take much for the counsellor inside us to perform the ‘out of body’ function of becoming a self-critic which only offers negative criticism. There is no trick about how to stop thinking because the harder you try not to, the more it grows on you. You can read numerous articles and try numerous things but it will only work if you want it to. Not easy as it sounds. Because ofcourse why won’t a person want to feel better? That is what you think. But certainly not your unconscious. Our mind is so desperate to get better, to stop overthinking, that it becomes so foggy with all the things we do to make it calm. We take so many efforts all at once that none of it works out and then we feel bad because the outcome is pretty undesirable. This eventually leads to losing all the hopes to get better.
You don’t have to worry about anything. And certainly not about why you can’t stop worrying. Calm is not an easy act to pull off. But all you got to know is it’s effortless. No one can teach you how to be calm because it’s something only we can achieve on our own. It’s when you are weak that you have the best opportunity to become a calm person because we are the most desperate in our weak times. We are desperate to become strong and that is where our strength lies. And you won’t even realise how naturally you will emerge as a stronger human being when you stop punishing yourself by pushing harder for faster and effective results. You are never powerless because your mind can think what you want it to think. It can be your best critic if you want it to be. It’s all natural. It’s all inside you. Just breathe and be.
The one thing that a person wants from you is understanding. Have the level of understanding which is not obvious to your eyes. Some energy that you can feel so passionately that there exists no questions about trust. Be willing and have the courage to see the invisible because it has all the answer you were ever looking for. Make the person feel in a way that they never hesitate to share their darkest secrets with you.
You are not here to judge. You are here for the very purpose to acknowledge people of their worth. To make them feel how you want to be felt. Do those virtues to other that you expect others to do to you. People come into your life so that you can convey them the things they can’t convey to themselve. Your existence in somebody else’s life is a role play. Always try to be the special person who everybody loves. Be the solitaire of their life and see how your life becomes a treasure.
There will be always someone who needs you. Don’t you ever think that you are not worth anybody’s need because people find it hard to express emotions when they cannot fathom those in their words.To see the visible, you need to see the invisible first. That is why you read people and you see beyond the visible to touch the bare truth, to feel every bit of it. Truth is considered brutal because people fail to catch the glimpse of its beauty. Your real strength lies in percieving the invisible. Take the leap of faith..
At every walk life gives us certain indication of our wrong doings. An indication to change or maybe a chance as forgiveness. Sometimes we notice but overlook not knowing how far would the impact be. Whereas sometimes its too late to realise that we were being notified. Our mind is a road map. We get every indications on every route that we take but we tend to ignore and just speed up instead and soon that we come to know its only the speed that gets us into trouble at the end. Speed being the level of confidence, if its low you reach nowhere but if its high you know its gonna kill you at the end.
We are just too busy to figure out how things happen than to realise why things happen. The significance of understanding the ‘why’ factor of happening is coming to know what was your consequential role in the story. We are aware of things happening to us but never really try to figure the real reason. We go for temporary fixing options when we can actually fix it permanently, just a little focus on being practical and not emotional .
You are the hero of your story and everybody else is playing a side role. Just like you are being casted a side role in their stories. While everybody else is trying to fix their wrong doings, they never look after what you did wrong. We are humans and not robots, we commit mistakes and we try to fix them. So why is that you think people remember what you did wrong while they are trying to fix what they did wrong? Nobody cares. Do you remember what someone else did wrong prioritized to what you did wrong? I believe the answer is a no. Everybody thinks about themselves at most points of their life.
Wherein that you get an indication, maybe its a way to tell you to stop and divert to what’s crucial at that point of time. Like an alarm which you can ignore for a while but you know your sound sleep is no more a sound one until you switch it off and well, wake up! Switch the indication off, Wake up from your wrong doings. Don’t go for it when you know you are chasing dead end.
Surrounded by people, friends or family or whatsoever, we often forget our own existence. We forget our choices, things that makes us happy, or things that we are actually supposed to do. Yes, we live for others. We get along with someone else’s happiness, we find our satisfaction in their happiness. Blessed souls!
Are we compromising with our happiness? Are we making our choices secondary and theirs primary? If so, well then that’s unfair with us. Why are we doing that? Because we care for them more than us and love them more than we love our self. It’s crazy to what extent someone can be selfless. But do we realise that the things we do for that person, will that person be willing to do the same for us? If the answer is yes, than your efforts are worth it. If no, then you know the rest.
Sometimes we feel sad for no reason. Feels like some part of the puzzle is missing. What actually missing is the spark! The spark that let you feel satisfied and those equal efforts from the other side. Its the response. If you don’t get any, you always feel incomplete. Well, you need to think, is it worth sparing your time feeling incomplete? Or rather be complete in our own existence. We don’t need people to complete us. We just need our self. We are lost. We need to find ourselves first than finding a right person. Get back with yourself. Make your soul happy first. You are enough capable to make choices, to make decision for your own good. Don’t let someone else control you. All you need right now is your own soul, your own self-confidence which is lost at this moment. You can live again, much happier and gloomy as you were once. Stay smiling 🙂