The dawn of insecurities.

Today i felt like a storm of emotions collided into my heart. Yet this feeling made me hollow. Maybe today that i faced this reality that i found hard to absorb. My mind was empty yet i didn’t had space to suffice the truth. I always had a thing for honesty but for this once the candor felt like a sharp knife. It bruised but i didn’t bleed for that i was so lifeless. I was just a body floating on this universe, a flesh without the soul, a mind without the thought and a heart without the emotion. Yes, today i felt what its like to be nothing.

                The far i ran from it, the closer it haunted me back. I walked ahead and tried to leave them behind my footsteps but they were following me back leaving a trail of my own mess. It tried to shame me and it succeeded. It was anonymous until i gave it a name. Yes, today i got driven by my insecurities yet again.

            Always that i felt secured under my own skin but today is that i felt trapped. Maybe i was afraid to look beneath this skin for what i truly was. I was afraid from being different than how i looked myself in the mirror. I was afraid to deviate from my own reflection. For what my mirror reflected was just my body, if only it could reflect my mind. Maybe then for once i would have believed that i was beautiful. Yes, today i felt ashamed.

                    I felt lost yet again but today i failed to found myself. Maybe i was there somewhere but i failed to recognize. Because today i encountered reality and not my distorted perception about it. The distortion was deeply satisfying but it faded soon for that satisfaction was not what i deserved anymore. I deserved to know the truth irrespective if it was meant to be. I tried to see the good and bad but this entire act was hollow. For that there didn’t exist any such thing except for my subjective perception about the good and the bad. I became insane because sanity stopped making sense to me. Yes, today was the dawn which never transformed into my day. 

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A female’s voice.

She was the fire who could burn the evil,

Even when they shamed her she made her retrieval.

Her courage had the power to rule the sovereigns,

Yet her surrender wasn’t a defeat at all by any means.

She saw the good in the bad and a blessing in a curse,

Yet they failed to see the purity in her bleeding making her feel ashamed and worse.

What was her fault in enduring the natural things

Was it too hard to absorb truth for the human less beings?

From childhood she was taught how to be cautious,

Not from the animals but the wild people who will make her feel nauseous.

They called her a hypocrite for having liberal view,

These are the sexist who never thought her through.

She is the beautiful paradox left unexplained,

For that nobody had the calibre to understand the way she was pained.

She worshipped them with all her grace,

Times changed but her suffering got worse with the phase.

All a women wants is the respect she craved,

From the other human for all her silent sacrifices he graved.

**********

Happy international women’s day.

To all the strong womens out there, May we know them, May we be them, May we raise them!

Mirage

Every day reveals something to you, like opening a little secret box everyday and taking step towards the clear picture of life. You meet people and you become a part of their lives, but how many do actually see through that life of other person? Have you ever realised how wrong can you be about someone. To what extent have you misjudged a person. 

                   We always compare our lives with others and find ourselve in this pool of disgrace, wet with our own expectation about life. Everybody’s life seems happening to us. It seems happening to our end because its a mirage, a mirage of our own perception regarding the other person. We keep building blocks of dreams until we realise we were only sleeping the whole time and now that we finally have to wake up. Our perception distorts the reality we live in. 

                You need to stop. You need to stop when you know you are building those dreamy expectations which cannot collide with your reality. Let your vibes be welcoming to the uncertainty of your life. Stay happy and positive.

Kick those blocks of expectations