Sometimes i am human,
The other times i am me.
Category: deep
The leap of faith
The one thing that a person wants from you is understanding. Have the level of understanding which is not obvious to your eyes. Some energy that you can feel so passionately that there exists no questions about trust. Be willing and have the courage to see the invisible because it has all the answer you were ever looking for. Make the person feel in a way that they never hesitate to share their darkest secrets with you.
You are not here to judge. You are here for the very purpose to acknowledge people of their worth. To make them feel how you want to be felt. Do those virtues to other that you expect others to do to you. People come into your life so that you can convey them the things they can’t convey to themselve. Your existence in somebody else’s life is a role play. Always try to be the special person who everybody loves. Be the solitaire of their life and see how your life becomes a treasure.
There will be always someone who needs you. Don’t you ever think that you are not worth anybody’s need because people find it hard to express emotions when they cannot fathom those in their words.To see the visible, you need to see the invisible first. That is why you read people and you see beyond the visible to touch the bare truth, to feel every bit of it. Truth is considered brutal because people fail to catch the glimpse of its beauty. Your real strength lies in percieving the invisible. Take the leap of faith..
Cluster of feelings.
When the pain feels like pleasure and you want your heart to ache some more.
When you want to cry your heart out yet you decide to ignore.
When it gets hard to breathe feeling confined in those desperate thoughts.
When all you thought was tying heart to heart knots.
When times were so you felt dreamy and delirious.
When you realised you were only being needy and oblivious.
When you loved so much to give away the hate.
When you closed your eyes feeling tired enough to wait.
When the world was spinning but only one picture stood still.
When he held her hands yet against your will.
When you died a million times inside your mind.
When your soul wanted love, the hopeless kind.
When his happiness gave you a purpose to shine.
When in parellel universe you confessed him, “you are mine.”
Inside out.
We happen to know alot of people in our life, in various forms. Let them be our friends or family or just aquaintance or whatever we name it. People play a very unexpected, sometimes happening sometimes not, role in your life. In our living we try to know them inside out, we try to make out their personalities of what they show to us. But not everytime what they show to us is what they actually are, and certainly its not negative to show something and be something in some cases. But what forms pure evil is when you use this as a weapon. Using emotions against someone is just so devious, yet some people don’t mind being one.
Maybe everybody is afraid to show their real self out to the world, feeling too vulnerable. People tend to fake it even if they hate being fake because even if we hate things we still have the potential to do it. Trust is what holds us from giving it away, whatever we have. Stronger minds have fragile hearts. The sinking feeling in your heart when the trust is broken is like a glass being shattered, loud enough to make you numb and sharp enough to hurt. You know why it is hard to trust again? Because nobody likes to commit a mistake twice, that’s what we were taught.
Humans are a mystery. Only the individual knows what he is inside out, what is to be shown and what is to be kept hidden. If you have to reveal what’s in the mystery you will have to use trust as a key, and perhaps the person will let you in his head. But what happens when you get there? What happens when what’s outside contradicts what’s inside? The key disappears. The trust ceases to exist.
What is to be deduced is that however close you might be to anybody there still exist the possiblity of you not knowing them inside out. But rather than questioning why the person didn’t show it enough, you should ask whether you have enough strength to see what he has to show. Because if you don’t then the mysteries will always be alive.
Don’t fear the fear.
We keep searching for the one thing that gives us hope of optimism. But sometimes, we run out of that hope, the kind of positivity we look for. That is the time when our facts are replaced by fears. We start to fear because we don’t find a reason not to. You know what, Fear sells. It traumatizes you and makes you feel guilty even without commiting a mistake. Its tears you apart and suddenly you feel that the world is falling. Devastating hallucination seems to be coming true. But the real truth is that its all in your head. Your mind destroys your inner peace.
So, here is a piece of advice, Destroy what destroys you. Yes, destroy your worst fears. The only thing that can bring you down is your fear for that thing and not the thing in particular. Fear doesn’t shuts you down, it wakes you up. If you know how to control your fear and use it as your strength, you will definitely become a stronger person and there will be no guilt. There will be peace and an incredible willpower. We all need that, don’t we?
Just like being blindfolded and asked to shoot someone on his head not necessarily concludes that you will have an headshot , there are more chances of it to be vague and out of order. Same way, you are vague thinker and your thoughts can be too out of facts to be true. You are just being blindfolded by fear. Fear is just a concept and not reality. Once you face it you will get to see the real picture. You control your fears instead of letting it control you.
Our words,
Are like matchsticks..
If we decide to heat them up there is a definite inferno.
But we forget that fire becomes so uncontrollable,
That we end up burning..
Our own hands in it.
Do regrets have answers?
We don’t deserve the hostility we get. What is it about? Why is it that all what people show us is enmity? What have we done? We don’t really have answers, do we? If we’ve had answer we would never ask the question.
Not everybody has it what you have, the capacity for dealing with being oppressed. Feeling weak, so weak that the powerlessness overrides the digust and the anger left inside. Its not just the person who gets opressed but also the feelings. The feeling crashes down in pieces. But now when those pieces connects its a whole different picture which you can see. You don’t see the pieces into the same form, you don’t see the feelings having the same feel.
All the world can say, will always be to fight back. But what you know, nobody knows, nobody understands, nobody feels. You know its not foreign feeling of being oppressed for which you didn’t stood up for yourself. You know its history recreating itself. Bringing back those days you never wish to see. You never wished to be judged again. Yes you didn’t fight back but you had a reason. You didn’t stood up because even this time you thought you would never repeat your mistakes again. Even if standing for yourself was a mistake by then it might not be now. All you can feel is dilemma.
A dilemma transforming into a regret…
You tell yourself one thing, someone’s oppression is never your regret. You can stand up. You can do it what you didn’t. You don’t know your potential until you test. Let the world judge, let it make you feel regret. But never put the regret into a question mark. Never ask if you regret. Because regrets don’t have answers, they have more questions. And those questions don’t have answers either..
Breakdown
The thing about past is, you never really forget it. Its always there, forever until you die. Somewhere down the memory lane or some corner of your heart it stays but you never really bother to recall it that frequent until something happens that breaks you down. Nothing can make you cry as much as your broken past can. You never really move on, you just pretend to forget it. More like temporary ailment. And there is absolutely nothing wrong in doing that because it is what the best you can do at that time. We don’t travel in time to make things better in our past, we can only wish such things.
The trouble starts when these memories starts haunting you. Like when you have an emotional breakdown and all of sudden you are like the most depressed person. The past brings shiver down your spine and every goosebum reminds you of every moment in a flash. Its horrifying. All we can think of is why didn’t we do something at that time, we could have acted in that way which wouldn’t had left these memories haunting in the present. We could have been better. We could have saved our past-self from drowning. You can only regret that you didn’t do what you should have been doing. But the truth is your hands were tied back then!
No person is perfect, nobody acts the ideal way. Life doesn’t come with a script. You don’t have to recite your dialogues and blabber them. You speak what your mind says you to. You don’t realise what you’ve done until you actually do it. If future was so predictable then nobody would be regretting their past. If you knew what the consequences would have been, i am sure you would never act the way you did. Its just that, don’t be hard on yourself.
We all have those haunting memories and nightmares and we wake up being too scared to sleep again. We start to hate ourself and all those people who did wrong. The situation is to be blamed and not the people. Because even the other people are just like you, they acted the way they thought was the best to them even though it was the worst. Its the perception game. Hitler thought he was doing the best for Germany, and Jews thought exactly opposite of his actions. Everybody has a reason for their actions irrespective of the motive. And most of the time the reason is for their own good.
Everybody thinks about themselves and there is nothing wrong in doing that until your happiness comes with a cost to someone else’s. But then you never think about these stuff when it comes in the practical scenario. People become blind for their own sake of happiness. That what regret is all about. You can never run away from your past, from your actions, from your words. And your actions and your words are not just regret for you, its for all of them associated with you.
The road map.
At every walk life gives us certain indication of our wrong doings. An indication to change or maybe a chance as forgiveness. Sometimes we notice but overlook not knowing how far would the impact be. Whereas sometimes its too late to realise that we were being notified. Our mind is a road map. We get every indications on every route that we take but we tend to ignore and just speed up instead and soon that we come to know its only the speed that gets us into trouble at the end. Speed being the level of confidence, if its low you reach nowhere but if its high you know its gonna kill you at the end.
We are just too busy to figure out how things happen than to realise why things happen. The significance of understanding the ‘why’ factor of happening is coming to know what was your consequential role in the story. We are aware of things happening to us but never really try to figure the real reason. We go for temporary fixing options when we can actually fix it permanently, just a little focus on being practical and not emotional .
You are the hero of your story and everybody else is playing a side role. Just like you are being casted a side role in their stories. While everybody else is trying to fix their wrong doings, they never look after what you did wrong. We are humans and not robots, we commit mistakes and we try to fix them. So why is that you think people remember what you did wrong while they are trying to fix what they did wrong? Nobody cares. Do you remember what someone else did wrong prioritized to what you did wrong? I believe the answer is a no. Everybody thinks about themselves at most points of their life.
Wherein that you get an indication, maybe its a way to tell you to stop and divert to what’s crucial at that point of time. Like an alarm which you can ignore for a while but you know your sound sleep is no more a sound one until you switch it off and well, wake up! Switch the indication off, Wake up from your wrong doings. Don’t go for it when you know you are chasing dead end.
Your own existence.
Surrounded by people, friends or family or whatsoever, we often forget our own existence. We forget our choices, things that makes us happy, or things that we are actually supposed to do. Yes, we live for others. We get along with someone else’s happiness, we find our satisfaction in their happiness. Blessed souls!
Are we compromising with our happiness? Are we making our choices secondary and theirs primary? If so, well then that’s unfair with us. Why are we doing that? Because we care for them more than us and love them more than we love our self. It’s crazy to what extent someone can be selfless. But do we realise that the things we do for that person, will that person be willing to do the same for us? If the answer is yes, than your efforts are worth it. If no, then you know the rest.
Sometimes we feel sad for no reason. Feels like some part of the puzzle is missing. What actually missing is the spark! The spark that let you feel satisfied and those equal efforts from the other side. Its the response. If you don’t get any, you always feel incomplete. Well, you need to think, is it worth sparing your time feeling incomplete? Or rather be complete in our own existence. We don’t need people to complete us. We just need our self. We are lost. We need to find ourselves first than finding a right person. Get back with yourself. Make your soul happy first. You are enough capable to make choices, to make decision for your own good. Don’t let someone else control you. All you need right now is your own soul, your own self-confidence which is lost at this moment. You can live again, much happier and gloomy as you were once. Stay smiling 🙂
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